I was made for this

I was remembering today all the times someone stopped me in the hospital, randomly on the street during walks, in the middle of the mall, and even on the beach. People, just wanting to stop, look, and admire my sweet angel.

Sure, he was tiny and cute, and started wearing glasses at just ten months old. But there was some kind of magnetism about him that just drew everyone to him. He was also always smiling, and that didn’t hurt.

I’ve concluded that his big purpose in this Universe was evident from the minute he entered this Earth. It was apparent, just by looking at him, that he would make a huge impact, even in just three short years.

And now, I have this new little soul, with big, blue, telling eyes, much like his big brother. He too, is a warrior. He too, faces a world of uncertainty with a warrior spirit I’ve only seen once before. My boys, my warriors, somehow made it into my arms and into my heart.

When I look at him, though he’s so different in personality, no relation by blood, born to another family altogether, I see the same fight, the same resilience, and the same unconditional love I once saw in his brother.

And I think, for just a short moment, between my grief and my overwhelming awe at the blessing that is this life, that maybe, just maybe, some of those wonderful and unique characteristics embedded in my boys, could have come from me.

Maybe, through the heartache and pain, the joy and laughter, maybe it’s true that these two boys were meant for me, and only me. A mama who could get hit with a boulder and somehow still stand to face another day. A mama who knows a sadness that crushes her soul, but will work tirelessly to find the happiness in spite of the hurt.

A mama, who works to be the best wife, the best friend, the best daughter a woman could be, but above all else, strives to be the very best mama to her baby in Heaven and her baby on Earth.

Maybe, just maybe, I was made for this.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I was made for this

  1. Vicki Pelfrey says:

    OMG!!!!! This is so beautiful………………..hope someday that your “non biological” son will be able to realize what a VERY lucky little guy he is……………………………….

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s